Answer To The Question No One Ever Asked

I've shared a number of things on my blog but this is, by far, the most personal. A few days ago I noted that I would be employing new language and exploring new topics in my writing...unpacking my sexual identity is a part of that. That said, I wanted the first post in this new season to speak to my journey in identifying as Queer/Pansexual. I'll be building this out more over time but wanted to start here...

She was the answer to the question no one ever asked5 foot something ball of impulsive energy and faithFaith in peopleFaith in GodFaith in what could be moreso than what isI met her in North Carolina woodsA brief, barely remembered meeting in between this or thatComing back home I saw her everywhereAnd by everywhere I mean on FacebookYou know that one personWho knows all your peopleAnd you have to internet stalk them to figure out how that's the caseThat was herBut this uncomfortable feeling made me look awayClicking little "x" boxes on friend suggestions because of something I couldn't shakeLemme tell you can't "x" out of unexpected meetingsI found that out on the top floor of a Chicago co-op in late summerShe walked in and I wanted to runBut the inconvenience of starting a new thing meeting in a friend's apartment is that you can't run away from the 5 foot something girl you've been actively internet avoiding just because seeing her makes your heart raceA physiological response to attraction I had associated with boysAnd in that moment, in that apartmentUnlike all the times I clicked tiny red boxes in upper right hand corners,I realized that she was the answer to the question no one ever askedAre you straight?