Hiding in Plain Sight
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you..." Jeremiah 1:5
There is something in us - something central to our humanity - that makes us want to be fully known. It drives late night conversations, social media (over)shares, meetings over caffeinated beverage.We want people - especially those who we love - to REALLY know us.But they don't know us. They don't know our stories.They don't know that we got laid off and that we're struggling to find the money to buy the most basic of provisions.They don't know that we are grappling with serious depression and that therapy and our meds are our saving grace.That we've had a shift in faith or ideology and no longer believe the things that we used to.That we identify as being queer.They don't know who we are.So we hide in plain sight.We blend into the wallpaper of their imagination of who we are because sometimes that seems easier than being real. At least then we avoid the judgement of people who have the power to wound us because of the love we share. Sometimes making oneself fully known is risky because living honestly leaves us open and vulnerable and sometimes this goes beyond discomfort into the realm of danger.Only you can determine how and when you share your story with the people around you, but I would encourage you to share it with God.That verse in Jeremiah 1 gives me hope because to me it says that the God of All, the Creator, knows us.God knew us before our atoms became molecules and our molecules became flesh.God knew you when you were a dream in the mind of Divinity.So that means God knows your joblessness and struggles......your state of mental health......where you are in your journey......who you love...ANDnot only does God know you, God loves you and has plans to give you hope and a future (Jer. 29:11).God knows who you are, where you are,and how you are even if no one else does. My prayer for you is that the knowledge of that gives you peace and a sense of companionship that you may need in this moment.Prayer won't magically make your situation better but sometimes speaking about things with your Creator - the one who knew you in your wholeness even before your sense of time began - can sometimes help you feel a little less alone because in that presence you are don't have to hide.