Holiness and Heartbreak

What does it mean to be holyI've been told it means to be set apartConsecrated for divine purposeYou are specialDifferentBut I wrestle with thisFor the first time in my life I wish to be ordinaryNot set apartNot exceptionalJust commonFor in commonality lie things we can shareI want people to drink from my cupAnd for me to sip from theirsBecause it is through this sweet communion that I see GodOh God, I feel like I don't fit the mold of a good Christian these daysmaybe that's okI am to be your reflection so conform my image to yours and help me not to base my walk on the journey someone else finds themselves onI want to look like youA print made from MasterpieceNot reproduced from another copyConnect me to your heartbreakSo that I will not hurt you in those waysAnd if I have the privilege to shareTeach others to not be the causes of that sort of heartbreak for you eitherI suppose this is a prayerSo God I ask that youHonor the tears that accompany itFor they say things I have not yet found words forAnd speak to the fullness of my heartBecause I love youNot because you are my healer and delivererOr because you are alpha and omegaSo ingrained in my being that I don't always know where you stop and I beginIt's because you are I AmAnd I would exhaust speech beforeI could try and define who you are to me